On vacation in Rome I noticed a marble column in St. Peter's with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by I asked who the telephone was for. The priest told me it was a direct line to Heaven and if I'd like to call it would be a thousand dollars.
I was amazed, but declined the offer. All throughout Italy I kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column. At each, I asked about it and the answer was always the same: a direct line to Heaven and I could call for a thousand dollars.
After Italy I finished up my vacation with a tour of Ireland. I decided to attend Mass at a local village Church. When I walked in the door I noticed the golden telephone. Underneath it there was a sign stating: "DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN, 25 CENTS."
"Father," I said, "I have been all over Italy and in all the cathedrals I visited I've seen telephones exactly like this one. But the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?"
"The priest smiled and said, "Darlin', you're in Ireland now. It's a local call."